Saturday Night Live - S37E01

Shepard: Thursday’s debate, you said  you believed Americans should pay no taxes at all; how would that work?

Michele: Shep, I believe paying no taxes can help us return to the America I love. Not the America of Ronald Reagan, not the America of the founding fathers, but rather the America of thousands of years ago in which feral bands of mud people lived in their caves, never worrying that Barack Obama was gonna come and take their hard-earned pelts or infringe on their right to bear spears. That’s my America.

Shepard: And how do you rebound from you falling poll numbers?

Michele: Ah, Shepard, I am persistent, and when I want something I won’t take no for an answer. Take for instance, when I first met my husband. We were both at a party and I saw him across the room acting out all the parts from the musical Grease. Smitten, I asked him out for a hot water and lemon. He said, “Miss thing, here’s a quarter, buy yourself a clue.” But I wouldn’t give up. In closing: fences, Jesus, papilloma, eye balls.

G